Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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