can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
