Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
