five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
