Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
