dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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