My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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