You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
