All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize