Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I thought you said his peep was too small

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.

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(916): View more from California

Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.

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