singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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