My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
