Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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