Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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