I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
