sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
