Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
