her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
