K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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