I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You made out with two different species that night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
