Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
