I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
