You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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