when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
