once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Send help, water and tortillas.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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