you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize