so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
