I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
