She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
