don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
