1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
