He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
