who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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