3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
