I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
