i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
