i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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