This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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