this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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