me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize