I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
