i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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