eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
A bitchslap is in order.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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