I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
