summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
