Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
