So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
