I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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