I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
