U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
