Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
