i need an iv and a liver transplant
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
