Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
