Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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