I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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