No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's get the cat blown out
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
