Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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